I keep wanting to write about him, but deciding not to. Instead, I find a movie to distract myself with. I’ll make an OkCupid profile and then immediately delete it because someone messages me: “Would a nice Jewish girl like a sugar daddy?” I want to call him and tell him because I know we’d laugh until our sides beg for forgiveness.
I’ll text a friend.
I’ll call my mom and she’ll ask how I am. She’ll ask innocuous questions and my answers will go places I don’t expect.
“I think about him a lot lately.”
She reminds me it’s been a long time and things happen the way they do. Not always for a reason, but they happen, nonetheless. Dwelling makes us sick. Idolizing the past is a recipe for current unhappiness.
“I miss him too, you know,” she says, her voice softened.
The thing is, you can…
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1. Not shaving our legs. Bless you, winter.
2. Going to bed with our makeup on and then wearing it the next day as second-day makeup.
3. Sitting in an “unladylike” position – aka anything where we’re not sitting up perfectly straight with our ankles crossed.
5. Continuing to belch after brothers and friends and boyfriends tell us how disgusting it is.
6. Being honest about the number of pizza slices we’ll actually eat when there’s a group order (3-4).
7. Cursing our body’s need for a uterus. Or cursing in general.
8. Taking no prisoners while ferociously eating a burrito at Chipotle.
9. Singing and/or rapping every word to Missy Elliot’s “Work It.” Except that one part in the middle that sounds like “ifbirdflippingintheMyansyet.”
10. Not showering the second we get back from the gym, if we even go.
11. Laughing when someone says…
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Aziz my dating guru… you’ve done it again
1. “I see people my age…getting married to people they’ve known for like a year and a half. A year and a half? Is that enough time to get to know someone to know you want to spend the REST of your life with them? I’ve had sweaters for a year and a half and I was like ‘What the fuck was I doing with this sweater?’”
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This boss bitch though…
On the latest episode of Inside Amy Schumer, we were treated to this fake trailer for a movie called Princess Amy, which stars Schumer as a “rancid peasant girl” who learns that she’s actually royalty.
Princess Amy thinks her life is going to become totally perfect and wonderful, but she soon learns that being a Disney-style princess isn’t as great as so many young girls think it is. For example: she is forced to marry her weird, creepy cousin. She’s only 14. Her one job is to produce male heirs. When that doesn’t happen, well, there are extreme consequences.
Maybe it’s finally time for girls to grow up dreaming about becoming lawyers or PR professionals instead.
Raise your hand if you graduated from college within the last few years. Now raise your hand if you have a job, pay bills and feel like a semi-functional member of society. Great. Finally, raise your hand if you still live with your parents.
Whether you refer to them as your “roommates” or you just leave this little detail out of daily conversation, I feel you. I love my parents. They’re great. They are fair landlords (sorry I haven’t paid rent in 8 months, Ma!). They are considerate roommates and don’t keep me up all night with the ragers they don’t throw. Living with full-blown adults definitely has perks. For me, dinner is usually made. My laundry is typically done and folded. Shit, my Dad even washed my car the other day just because he wanted to. That’s the dream, folks. I do have to shovel snow but I think that’s a fair compromise.
But there is a certain part of me that feels like I’m not a real adult yet. When people find out I live with my parents, they usually chide in with “Oh, you must save soooo much money!” or “Well that’s the smart thing to do until you establish yourself.” Let’s get something straight. I don’t save money. I pay off loans. And I consider myself fairly established. I pay my bills, I own a car, I’ve had steady employment since I graduated from college. I even see a primary care physician once a year because that is what established adults do!
I am in a constant state of dissonance when it comes to living at home. I have clearly outlined a few of the perks. But I struggle with the notion that I’m not where I should be at 25. Or more accurately, I’m not where I wanted to be at 25. There are reminders that people my parents’ age were married and had children at my age. CHILDREN. What? Why?
I guess I’ve landed on this example of my status as an adult: I am like an adult cat. I can take care of myself, but it’s definitely for the best if someone checks in on me from time to time. So shout out to my roommates for that!
“Ugh”, “FML”, “Days like these make me so depressed”
You obviously want people to ask what’s going on. About 5% of your Facebook friends will die from curiosity and cave in to ask what’s up, but the other 95% of us know you’re being intentionally vague for attention. It’s annoying. Stop.
“Going to the ER”, “Totaled my car”
If you’re going to the hospital or you have just been in an accident of some sort, you probably shouldn’t be making a status about it. This is not an appropriate way to tell your friends and family about something bad. If you’re well enough to post on fb, you can make a phone call.
“Omg I know you have your phone on you, bitches need to text back damn”, “Smh why do people have to talk about me behind…
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Creative dates are hard to come by. I think part of the dating drought in this age group is boring dates. I would love to go on most of these. What are your favorites?
1. Cheer on an amateur sports team in your city. It’s just as fun as supporting a Real Team but tickets are dirt cheap. My city’s non-pro baseball team has a few dates during the summer where tickets are $5 and they have $1 beers all night. Also, until we got a new baseball stadium whenever there was a home game on a Wednesday you could get in for $3 with a student ID (mine didn’t include a date so no one knew I graduated ~3 years ago).
2. Make a fire outside. This is free and hands down, the best date ever.
3. Go through this list of questions and answer them all, back and forth. Or, use it as part of a game of truth or dare.
4. Bowling is always a fun night out, and if you go during the week you can find somewhere to…
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I am concerned with all things Harry Potter related. Dating is no different #Hermione #duh
Find a person who values loyalty, integrity, and doing what is right – above all else. They might be stubborn as hell, and brave to the point of recklessness. But they will always do the right thing, no matter how difficult or scary it may be.
You need someone who will stand by you and is willing to jump into the deep end when you need them. You value people who have a strong backbone and those who are willing to act, regardless of their insecurities or self-doubt. Often, the most attractive thing you can find in another person is their willingness to fight for what they believe in, in spite of their own vulnerability.
You value intelligence, strength, and fierce loyalty in other people. You need someone who, while clever and quick, is also finely tuned…
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This past weekend was alumni weekend for BUWIH (BU Women’s Ice Hockey). It was also the weekend of Marathon Monday. And one of my best friends from college was in town. And so were a number of our friends from college. So I took this as an opportunity to prove to myself that I still have it.
What is “it”, you may ask? I just wanted to know that I could still hang. I wanted to know if these people were still my Ride or Die squad when it comes to debaucherous activity, particularly at T’s Pub.
Saturday started early. Like, 5:30 a.m. early. We were running the BAA 5K (a race held the weekend of the Boston Marathon that allows people like myself to feel involved in the festivities without having to run 26.2 miles) and it began at 8 a.m. in Boston Common. I take blame for this. As per usual, I got a little ambitious and convinced my friend to run the race with me. My Dad and I have done it before… it’s not that bad… sucker. So the race was a thing and it went and I finished.
Stop # 2: BRUNCH. I’ll post about my feelings on Brunch a little later but let’s just say, my third memoir will be titled “Bitches Who Brunch.” I’m talking Bloody Mary bar. Wait… you’re going to give me a glass with any vodka in it that I want and then let me craft my own wonderful brunch treat from your display of Bloody Mary staples? Sign me up. Also, corned beef hash eggs Benedict. Stop. I can’t.
Next stop was the rink. It was game time; however, I didn’t play. I played in the alumni game last year. Please note that I never played college hockey. I didn’t even play high school hockey very well and I certainly never played in the Olympics. So I played last year after being harassed by some “friends”. I feel like that level of humiliation is special and if shared too often, won’t mean as much. So I opted out this year. But no worries, everyone. Bench beers with my adopted little brother were had.
Stop # 4: T’s Pub. Oh T’s. You were the best of times, and often the worst of times. But I love you nonetheless and despite my better judgment. This is the part where Terriers past and present (if legal of course) reunite for stories of difficult practices, tough losses, unbelievable wins, long bus rides, hilarious pregame meals, memorable team bonding and of course, coach anecdotes. As I mentioned, I never played. I did manage the team though. So I was at many of these practices, experienced the highs of winning and the lows of losing, sat through long bus rides, enjoyed delicious team meals and had enough chats with coach to add a few tales to the list. Old friends reunite. New friendships are formed. Memories are made and subsequently lost. And more than likely, the bar staff runs out of pitchers. It’s an incredible opportunity to the day and night with people who you used to see every single day. It’s also wonderful and bittersweet to welcome a new class to the alumni group each year.
If you survive this relatively unscathed, I think you can still hang.
Fast forward to Monday. Marathon Monday is the best day. It’s tied for my favorite day in Boston with the Beanpot. I just can’t explain why I love this day without getting all emotional. I think running a marathon is so admirable. I don’t even want to do it, but I think it is so inspiring to see people out there and doing the damn thing. It takes so much commitment and time and heart. SO MUCH HEART. It’s also a huge day for colleges in the area. College kids wake up at 7, start drinking, and eventually (hopefully?) make their way to the route to watch. It’s just a good time. Add what happened two years ago to the mix and it has evolved into a day for Boston to celebrate, rejoice and enjoy each other. It’s a rallying point for this city and for its people. There is nothing like watching the Boston Marathon. This year, my best friend’s mom was running and that was amazing. Seeing her run and accomplish that ultimate goal was incredible. I can’t say enough how proud I am.
By the end of the weekend, I had come to the conclusion that yes, I can still hang. Should I? Maybe not. Was I exhausted and was my body rejecting all of the horrible things I had done to it? Yes. But more than that, alumni weekend/Marathon weekend is an opportunity to connect with old friends once a year and reminisce about days long passed. Life gets busy and we forget to call or text. We miss birthdays and anniversaries. We say “tomorrow, I’ll call them,” and we never do. So I welcome any chance I get to spend time with the people who convinced me a tattoo during Senior Week was a good idea, that you don’t need to cook a hot pocket completely, and that long bus rides with your team might be the best days of your college life.